✖ voice ✖ oo3 ✖

[corporal]

( Levi's voice is aggravated when he clicks on his PokéGear, although really, it's not all that much different from his standard tone. )

Oi. My Pokémon have made eggs. I wasn't trying to do that, but it doesn't seem like they much care about my own intentions. The fuck am I supposed to do with these?

I don't need thirty fucking cats. ( There's a short pause for an almost melodramatic sigh, then. )

I'm sure they'll be shitting all over the place if I end up with too many of them. Do I hand them out? Sell them? Shit. ( After a few more seconds, Levi makes a sound like a 'tch' because wow complaining takes so much work nobody knows how hard his life is. )

Let me know if you want a cat or whatever.

( Aaaand click. )

Comments

voice

[death_glare]

How is it that a cat is capable of laying eggs?

[ He's been reading through the handbook he was given, but still can't honestly comprehend that aspect. ]

voice

[corporal]

[ That's an excellent question. It's a question that Levi would have had as well, if he hadn't seen some shit. ]

I wish I could say that I knew, but it's a fucking mystery. Apparently all Pokémon lay eggs, regardless of whatever standard animals they seem to look like.

voice

[death_glare]

Odd.

I appreciate the insight. The Pokémon I was given resembles a pigeon so her laying an egg would not have phased me.

[ Perhaps Levi can hear the happy chirping of William's Pidove in the background. ]

voice

[corporal]

[ He definitely can, and it makes him furrow his brow a bit. Birds. That's cute though, at least they both ended up with cute shit, apparently it isn't all adorable. (Like Levi even has an eye for what's adorable, jfc). ]

Ah, yeah, well, there you go. You're one of the lucky ones. I shouldn't act like I'm so new here, I guess it's been a while, but a lot of this is still new information.

voice

[death_glare]

[ He's quite for a moment while he observes his Pidove. ]

I suppose. At least she seems to behave herself.

Honestly, I have never be charged with the responsibility of keeping something alive and well. This will certainly be a new experience.

[text]

[unkinder]

[Okay normally he might have ignored this, but.

Good Lord.]

I do hope you're exaggerating.

[text]

[corporal]

I am exaggerating. I don't have thirty cats.

But they would shit all over the place, I'm sure, that's not an exaggeration.

[text]

[unkinder]

[Amazing.]

It's as simple as selling the eggs, then; but, you're really interested in having them taken off your hands, just give them away.

What species of Pokemon are they, anyway?

[text]

[corporal]

The Pokémon that made them are a Purrloin and an Espurr, so one of those, I'd wager. Unless there's a great deal more shit I don't know about these animals.

I'll find them suitable homes, I guess. [ read: oh god i actually would have to give them away but what if i'd be the best one to keep them i better be careful maybe i should just keep thirty thousand cats ]

[ spoilers all the eggs hatch into magikarps, levi gives up forever, qq ]

voice;

[ex_cashcow493]

Thirty? That is an incredible amount of offspring. Your Pokemon should be praised for their hard work.

[ Now selling 30 eggs at any given time is a task. ]

voice;

[corporal]

[ o-oh my god she's so cute why..... ]

I was exaggerating. They didn't actually have thirty shitty cat children.

[ then, squinting, even if it's obviously not.. noticeable over the feed rn.. ]

—praised—...if they're animals, isn't it in their nature to fuck? That doesn't seem like a feat.

voice;

[ex_cashcow493]

Oh no, they are often peculiar about their mating. Sometimes they refuse if they are not fond of the climate or their environment, then there are the ones you really have to coax into it.

[ Someone's been at this for way too long. ] If you will not praise, then I shall.

voice;

[corporal]

[ the degree to which levi is frowning rn is subcritical. ]

Be my guest.

—wait, then how do they populate at all? [ inb4 levi learns about pandas and fuckin loses it ]

voice

[fortunatetoaster]

... man, you should sell 'em. Even if its just for like, a thousand an egg, that's a whole lotta money you're sittin' on.

voice

[corporal]

That seems kind of fucked up, but I guess you're right about the money—not that I can actually use it to buy anything of value here, but whatever.

voice

[fortunatetoaster]

... well, you gotta pay for food an' places to stay while you're travellin', right?

voice

[corporal]

—I guess I hadn't thought about that. I've been using a fucking tent.

voice

[scoutingangel]

[Oh... Guess a girl's social skills / egg buyer knowledge is good sometimes because she's been busy with trying to get a few more pokemon from other breeders or people with eggs anyway.]

Corporal, you could sell them, give them away for free or trade them for pokemon, that you don't have.

[Yes, she knows trade might a weird term for him (here), but she can explain in a bit. Meanwhile she's tempted to come praise his kittens for good work. ...and pretty sure 30 was not the real amount because wow, that would be insane from two kittens.]

voice

[corporal]

[ thank god, because here's levi, still with two whole pokemon. three of course once their christmas shenanigans roll around, but yeeeep he's chillin with his two and HE DOESN'T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT THEM so petra you best get ready to be an educator ]

What do you mean, trade them? I can just give them to someone who will give me another one in exchange?

voice

[scoutingangel]

[She's so ready to be an educator! But really, she's trying to gather some for traveling and fighting already. Go figure why a girl, who is extremely protective of you would do that. ]

Yes, they'll catch something you don't have unless they already have something like that and want to give it away. And if they're in a different city, those weird machines in the PokeCenter help with sending the pokemon over to both.

voice

[corporal]

[ thank god tho since levi only just discovered that he should be leveling his pokemons.... for gym battles so he can stop having to walk everywhere.. ]

Hm. I imagine there's some that I -- should be trying to get, yeah? That aren't cats. [ levis like "yes i would like a shiny charizard but idk what charizard is" ]

voice

[hopeslastreward]

[... what do you even say to this post? Komaeda doesn't know. But he responds anyway, because he's Komaeda.]

Well, first of all, I think you should try calming down a little.

voice

[corporal]

[ haha THAT'S AS GOOD AN EXCUSE AS ANY. ]

I don't seem calm?

voice

[hopeslastreward]

You sound aggravated. Also, you're cursing, which certainly doesn't help.

[Thanks, Captain Obvious!]

voice

[corporal]

[ hahaha

there's definitely a pause there on levi's side of the line as he makes a 'tch' sound at the observation. ]

Unremarkably, I don't think I sound any different in that broadcast than I normally do.

[ well this asshole here is definitely not helping his own case... way 2 go ]